We were happy.
♥ Sunday, August 19, 2012
1:27 AM
If only he's reading my blog, understand what am I thinking bout him.
It's been awhile we did not talk and meet up.
Even through webcam or phone call or face-to-face.
I remember the last time I saw you was you just got a haircut.
And now, your hair is long. Haha. It's been awhile.
I remember those days we were happy.
We had a date. We said we gotta wait for each other.
But I'd gave up the chance for further studies,
For crashing the right time.
Just not to break our promise.
So that I can spend more time with you.
That day was our first met for the past 8 months.
It should be the best day ever and excited.
But it turned out bad, sad and disappointing.
I know you had tried your best make me feel safe.
But once you're back, you heard a lot of my stuff.
Bad stuff.
You felt bad and disappointing, perhaps ?
I am very sorry for making you disappointed and made you feel so not special.
Babe, I got to tell you, there's no one can ever replace you ok.
Sorry for my complicated life had made you feel so bad.
My life has built. I have lots of close guy friends. I hang out with them often.
I did not try to ignore those gossips and rumors.
I am sorry. I will explain if I have a chance to.
You don't even know very special you are.
I am very sorry I had made a mess. I should have take it.
We were happy, remember ?
It's very hard to let you go or forget the past.
You are one huge part of my life, it's very hard to fall into someone after meeting you.
We did not been through too much,
At least we were once happy.
But if we did not get chance together,
I'm still glad that you were once the reason of why I was happy.
I miss you, I miss us.
Unacceptable presents
♥ Saturday, August 11, 2012
1:55 AM
In everyone's sight, I'm a lucky girl.
My parents give me the best. A trip to USA, everything I wanted.
Well, I rather use all of the things I had to exchange a overseas high education.
Currently, I am studying in Open University for this Executive Diploma in Real estate agency.
Part time course, night time classes, 3 days a week.
When I was 17 or 18, I wish I could study in a huge compound university in somewhere western.
But in some financial problem, I've changed my mind.
Even in Kuala Lumpur, or somewhere Asia, I am just okay with it.
I just simply wish I can study in a real University, which is mean can meet lot of friends and have different kind of activities.
I understand that University is not a place for party rock or having fun.
But isn't it a place for experiencing ? Experience different kind of stuff.
As I am who I am, I like to explore myself and being active in what I am doing.
This is what a student should do and experience, isn't it ?
My brother has this really good chance doing it in USA.
Even there was a really tough times in the past 4 years.
But who doesn't ?
Even it was tough, but it worths. I believe.
Because after all, what he got was unique knowledge, experiences and thoughts.
Who doesn't want to be smart and special in what we are doing ?
It was my dream to enjoy my Uni life. Well, who doesn't has this dream.
My parents gave everything to my brother but not me.
This remind me a passage I 've learnt in senior 3 chinese class.
Parents really do love and care for their children is to think for their further future,
Instead of their one-year-plan or even nearer.
My parents have this 10-years-plan for my brother.
But I don't even have a plan. Even a year plan.
I wanted to plan it myself, but I do not have ability to do it myself.
The only choice I have is to stay in the homeland for the rest of my life.
My present is having classes with bunch of adults, uncles or aunties.
My present is staying in KK with no further future.
My present is being driver of my grandmothers.
My present is listening to others' orders.
My present is nothing, no life and to suffer in grievances of doing what I don't like.
My present is to listen and obey what others' say.
Parents dont understand cause they don't feel it by their heart, like... Sincerely.
What suffer in my heart they should have known.
But they don't.
I am not blaming, I am just heartbreaking.
Cause been through 19 years, they are still don't understand,
This is not I want.
A girl with a sorrow heart.
♥ Wednesday, August 8, 2012
2:00 AM
We have left no choice always.
Months by months, all of us actually have seen the clearest part.
Separated was all we wanted, wasn't it ?
Cause we have given each other no choice.
We broke through the hardest part and the tough times.
Eventually, we lost to benefits and gold.
Whatever had happened was real, things were so real,
Friendship was so real, heart-to-heart was so real,
Apologies were so real, even we had the happiest time.
Those were so real.
But things change, it doesn't mean those are fake and benefits for now.
Things change, people change, friendship change.
There's no way to go back and say sorry.
Of course, we say hi when meeting each other in the street.
Girl, you should have learn how to forgive and let it go.
Don't make everything goes tough and negative.
We are still friends, always.
We have already let go, so do you.
But however, you owe me, us an apology.
Yes, working hard for achieving your goal got no wrong.
But the way you do, you should have you did offended everyone of us.
Don't explain for your mistake, even you did it purposely.
As long as you apologize, we accept. Alright ?
Like I said, there's no way to go back like we used to be.
But how you have treated your friends was way too wrong.
Everyone in this earth ain't like the way you are.
We do talk bout feelings and sincerity.
You should let go your attitude of thinking that everyone is talking bout benefits.
Perhaps, we are way too childish and naive.
But why don't you think it's your own problem of not trusting anyone.
Or maybe, we all have different thinking. ain't
Your maturity is way too weird which we can't reach.
In this world, we have friends, family and love instead of money.
Don't you afraid, there'll be a day when you are too poor till you have only left 10 billion dollars?
This is not karma, it's a circulation.
Cause you have sacrifice your friends and family by achieving your goal for being success.
And when the day you are success, you will realize, by the time you get, you lose something or someone you love.
And that time, money can't even satisfy you.
I forgive you the way you treating our friendship like hotel. Easy come easy go.
And also you forced me to walk on your pathway to achieve goals. A wrong pathway.
We were friends, best friends.
But we lose to benefits.
You are just somebody that I used to know.
Unpredictable
♥ Tuesday, August 7, 2012
1:06 AM
Have you ever wonder what was the last thing you said it's impossible ?
And did they happen after all ?
Have you change your mind or regret of what you have said ?
We always turn to someone we would never imagine.
You said you will never love this person, but what had just happened?
Did love change us or we change for love ?
Look back, how much you have change for love ?
Those days, when I was young.
I wish I have a super good looking prince, rich coming with a white horse boyfriend.
And I have chosen the one with these conditions.
Look back, how childish, naive was me ?
Ain't those days were the best period in life ?
What's the reason being frustrating and annoying for this unrequited love ?
Can't we just make love simple, instead of so damn complicated ?
Been through these 7 months, both of us can never hide the feelings behind,
I can feel it, so do you man !
Even I believe all of this was real.
How bout this.
Let us let go the past, those bad memories, those argument and pride.
Work it out together, make this possible.
I have waited for these 7 months, do I still make you feel unreal ?
We did promise each other, wait for each other, everything will be clear until the day we meet.
Ain't ?
Seriously man, I have never done this before.
Waited for this unpredictable future for more than half year.
I have gave it all, got nothing to afraid of.
I have done my best to make you as my priority.
How bout you ?
Do you feel like wiping my tears and give me a tight hug ?
For me, the best part is falling. Call it anything but love.
So how long can we keep this up ?
How long till we call its love ?
