Strangers, again.
♥ Saturday, September 29, 2012
3:01 AM
I told my friend. 24/9 was the saddest day in my life.
Don't need to think or do anything.
Sitting down there alone, looking at the blank computer screen,
My tears would drop automatically.
What we said we gonna do, we've done nothing.
Where the places we said we gonna go, we've gone nowhere.
We made everything possible just to get a chance to meet up and spend time together.
We said that for 7 months, and I've waited for 7 months.
Those awaiting moments were the best of the best in my life.
I had never felt this way before. I would spend my life to wait for somebody else.
I felt so lively.
There's no way to deny, those few months were the sweetest, happiest moment ever in my life.
Because we got to keep it up. Even there's millions miles between us.
Well, at the end we did not get to be together.
But I would admit this, spending time with you in Skype and chatting was the best moments ever in my entire life.
We talked bout each other, shared our lives, accompany each other when we felt lonely.
We had each other, we felt each other.
I trust my feelings, I believe those feelings were real.
Last night I read our conversation from the beginning.
Know what ? I've deleted our chats since the first text.
Our beginning was your 18th birthday. Sent you a greeting.
And that's where fireworks burnt.
We kept this up for 6 months. Slowly I got use to it to have you around.
Used to receive your funny, mad, happy, sad, angry, annoying, stupid texts.
When I was in USA, both of us was so lonely ! Omg.
And then, we Skype everyday.
I enjoyed talking craps to you while you were doing assignments.
I enjoyed you scolded at me like I'm a retarded.
I enjoyed looking at you when you were talking on the phone.
I enjoyed those days we spent together.
Unfortunately, day by day, people fell apart, feelings faded away.
You told them you got no feelings towards me, at all. At all.
But you forgot to tell them we were happy, and my heart is broken, my scars are open.
I had these few weeks struggling, I was out of my mind.
I heard my heart was broken into pieces.
But after all, I get back my life, my mind, my heart.
I asked myself why do I need to be so stubborn and emotional.
And now, I had let go and open minded.
I made our memories a book.
A book that only my mind can think, my heart can feel.
Those few months were happy, and we had only one month being so awkward and brought the worst out of each other.
I just have to think bout those happy days instead of what you've said that hurt me.
So that doesn't spoil the beautiful memories between me and you.
People might think why am I so stupid. Know why ?
Because I appreciate this person, how we brought out much fun, happiness for me, and the feelings towards this person is unique, special and comfortable.
In the future, I might marry the other guy, I might have lots of boyfriends, or I might be forever alone.
But I trust that, I would never ever gonna have this feelings anymore.
4 years ago, he liked me, I dint like him. We did not talk after that.
4 years later, we felt each other, but at the end he got no feelings at all.
And now, we don't talk anymore. God, can you tell me when will be the next time ?
Being with this man, I found out what is love.
You would change everything, become the person you said you never be.
Love is blind, you would be a dumbass even he hurt you physically or mentally.
Still, thanks for making me a beautiful memories to remember.
But now.....
Strangers, again.
Say hello to goodbye, its gone forever.
No more try, you and I.
Life is short
♥ Friday, September 7, 2012
8:03 PM
Anyone remember who is Lai Yee Shen ?
He used to be the star in Tshung Tsin.
When I was a little girl in high school, I was kinda admire him.
He was very very good in basketball and also running.
He was my idol, he could be very good in some situation.
Well, today I received a message from a friend and said that he had just past away.
Cause of leukemia. He fought for his life for 2 years.
That's so short. God dint even give a chance to let him get recover.
That's unfair. But what, that's life.
Life is unexpected, life is short, and you only live once.
Don't leave anything undone and unsaid.
Live no regrets.
And then, lesson learn.
In the past few weeks, I have got crazy over someone.
I couldn't control my emotional and feelings.
After meeting him, I have a very strong feelings toward him.
I was so stress that how did he think bout me,
My mind couldn't even stop thinking bout him,
No matter what I was doing, his face, motions, emotions, voices, memories and scene will keep on appearing in my mind.
I was so so so afraid of losing him in my life.
I started become another person.
I used to be a 'easy come easy go' person, I don't give a fuck on how you treated me,
I don't care how do you think bout me, I just be myself, the tough and rough lady.
But him, he just simply turned me into an asshole.
I became a fool, got no confidence, trusting there's fairy tale pinky swear in the earth,
I kept on chasing his steps, do whatever he did, be the one he likes,
Eat whatever he eats, hang out with his friends, just trying to take part of his life.
But slowly, I realize he won't give a fuck on how much I've invested and done.
I don't expect to get any payback.
But he dint even care bout what I've done.
You know, I tried my best to held this relationship tight, but you dint give a damn.
When someday you realize I've gone, please remember you're the one gave up on me, on us.
And now, I'll be back in time.
The hard and tough one.
I realize nobody gonna love you, if you don't love yourself.
We got lots of memories, and I will keep it.
